Jessie and James

Hey y’all. I’m back now after about five months of being MIA. No reason for the disappearance really. Just a lack of inspiration, I guess! I’ve been having a blast with my relatives visiting from Hong Kong and LA. So yeah, life is not bad. But you know what IS bad? People who have absolutely NO respect for others. I know…illogical sequence of thoughts. Haha. But let’s just go with it…

If you’re reading this, and you know me, and you’re part of a relationship, then I’ll let you decide if I’m talking about you or not. (Don’t know if you’ll ever figure it out though, because I’ll never tell…) [Insert maniacal laugh.] But seriously…I’m not really talking about one specific couple. Let’s just say it’s a trend I’ve been noticing amongst many couples. For the sake of this post, I’ll talk about the situation and refer to a fictional couple. Let’s call them Jessie and James. (Oh, hayy Team Rocket!)

Jessie and James think they have their shit figured out. To them, respect is a right. Jessie and James have been together for some time now, and they believe that they’ve earned the respect of each other’s family just because of the mere fact that they’ve been together for a somewhat of a long amount of time. But Jessie’s family is not respecting and accepting James like he imagined they would, and vice versa for James’ family towards Jessie. What’s the deal? James thinks Jessie’s family is being uptight and too traditional, so he adapts a “screw them!” kind of mindset, because he doesn’t have the time to beg for their respect and acceptance. Same with Jessie towards James’ family. So is it true? Should respect and acceptance into the family come automatically over time?

Jessie, Jessie, Jessie. James, James, James. You innocent, naive, ignorant, little idiots…

I do not think that respect comes automatically because you think you deserve it. Who would be pompous enough to think that they’re so high and mighty that respect should be their right to have?

Respect is a PRIVILEGE. You want respect? You work for it and earn it like the mature adult you’re supposed to be. So many kids these days get things handed to them because their parents don’t want to see their precious children suffer for anything. I don’t want to criticize anyone’s parenting, but would it not hurt your children in the future if you shelter them and not allow them to experience the real world and learn lessons along the way? Then somewhere down the line, two of these sheltered little shitheads find each other and believe that they are somehow better than everyone around them and that other people should be the ones grovelling at their feet and begging for their respect. Couples these days… Can’t live with them, can’t live without them. Though I’d very much enjoy gifting each of them a swift punch in the face.

Again, don’t be offended. I’m not talking about anyone specifically. I could be talking about myself for all you know. And I also apologize for the illogical, nonsensical thoughts of this post. Just wanted to write something because my fingers were itching to rant about something. And because I like to ramble about random weirdness in general.

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PDA (Part 2) : Couples vs. The Public

no public display of affection - Google Images

Okay you two, that’s enough…

 

Like I said in Part 1, there are so many different levels and layers to this topic. When is it okay? When is it not? To me, it really depends on the type of situation you’re in.

 

PDA-ing in front of the general public is sort of tricky. I will admit that I am a little more lax with showing affection towards my boyfriend when it’s just us two and strangers around us. In my mind, I tell myself that there’s a huge possibility that I won’t see any of those people ever again, and if they really had a problem with us acting like a couple, then they could just utter their snide remark and move on with their lives. (They’re lucky they live in a country with freedom of speech. Otherwise…hehe, just kidding.) 


And when I say acting like a couple, I mean holding hands, hugging, the occasional peck, and maybe even staring each other down with affection. You know, the little things. Bigger (and inappropriate) gestures would include grabbing and groping, tongue action, and exchange of saliva. C’mon people, it ain’t that hard, is it?


It really comes down to using your judgment. If I feel like I’m making an affectionate gesture that I may not realize right away that it may be slightly inappropriate and I see it is bothering someone, I will stop. I keep in mind that if I were in the other person’s shoes, I would probably feel uncomfortable as well. Be respectful. That’s all.


But if I feel like I’m making an affectionate gesture that is common for couples to do, and it still bothers someone, this is a situation where I would make a stand for myself and be like, “Hey, does me hugging my boyfriend bother you? Then look look the other way, homie!” I’m not going to show my boyfriend zero affection just because I’m worried about every little comment that might be made. It’s one of those situations: You hate us? But you’re still talking about us. 


Respect between a couple and the public is mutual. Couples need to respect the general public by not going overboard with their PDA and the general public needs to respect that couples just need to act like couples sometimes. I think it’s as simple as that.


But honestly, saying this issue is simple is a HUGE overstatement. Back to what is considered to be overboard and what isn’t, everyone has their own opinion about that. Let’s just trust the human race to practice common sense and everyone will live happily ever after, yes? (Oh my.)

 

Thanks for reading. 🙂

PDA (Part 1) : Growing up in a Chilese Famiry

http://www.stopdoingthis.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Fifth-Wheel-Public-Displays-of-Affection.jpg

Have you ever identified yourself with those unfortunate souls who call themselves “the third wheel”? Those who are suckered into hanging out with their couple friends and find themselves forced to take in all the lovey-dovey giggles and the do-you-ever-come-up-for-air smooches?


More often than not, I will force myself to take a few steps back before trying to form any sort of opinion for others to hear, essentially so I don’t say anything I’ll regret or anything that may offend anyone. But hey, I’m human, and I will be as raw as I need to be when it boils down to an opinion I feel really strongly about. So when it comes to such a fascinating topic such as public displays of affection, also known as PDA, who wouldn’t get overly passionate?


Before going any further, I would like to invite you to take a brief look of how I was brought up, so as to better understand why I think the way I do. I am a Canadian who was raised in a traditional Chinese family. When I say traditional, I mean:

  • Anything under an A+ is bullshit
  • We beat you because we love you
  • Of course you have a say in your career options. Doctor, lawyer, or accountant. Any of those three.
  • We is too g-star to say “I love you”
  • You’re not allowed to have a boyfriend until you’re 25
  • Your boyfriend must be educated, have a rich family, and be filthy rich himself
  • You’re allowed to try to talk back to us, but also prepare to meet your face to the back of our hands
  • We tell you you’re fat to motivate you to eat healthier
  • What? You want to go out? But proper girls stay home. Why don’t you study? Why don’t you practice piano? Why don’t you cook and clean and sew like a proper lady?

THAT kind of traditional. Okay, some of the stuff may be a little exaggerated, or it can be 100 percent true for some of you. It’s different for everyone. My CBC homies know ’bout that life. 

All jokes aside, the typical values of a Chinese family (but can also be applied to other cultures) are very focused on respect and tradition. I don’t agree with all the rules and values, but a lot of these traditional views do rub off on me when it comes to forming my own personal values.


With these values in mind, I think showing your love to your partner is a beautiful thing, given that it is done in the right place and at the right time. However, PDA-ing as if you had to show and prove to the world how loving your relationship is, in my humble opinion, comes off as disrespectful, inconsiderate, and just completely unnecessary.


Trust me; ain’t nobody gonna watch two lovebirds slobbering on each other’s faces with mad tongue action and then say, “Aw! Das cute!” ‘Cause it ain’t. See? The ghetto in me comes out when I get passionate. I’ll try to tone it down though.


The next part to this post is in the works, so stay tuned for Part 2. What do all-a-yalls think about PDA? I know there are so many different layers and levels and whatnot to this topic, but everyone is entitled to their opinion. No judgments over hurr at Think Shirley!