Jessie and James

Hey y’all. I’m back now after about five months of being MIA. No reason for the disappearance really. Just a lack of inspiration, I guess! I’ve been having a blast with my relatives visiting from Hong Kong and LA. So yeah, life is not bad. But you know what IS bad? People who have absolutely NO respect for others. I know…illogical sequence of thoughts. Haha. But let’s just go with it…

If you’re reading this, and you know me, and you’re part of a relationship, then I’ll let you decide if I’m talking about you or not. (Don’t know if you’ll ever figure it out though, because I’ll never tell…) [Insert maniacal laugh.] But seriously…I’m not really talking about one specific couple. Let’s just say it’s a trend I’ve been noticing amongst many couples. For the sake of this post, I’ll talk about the situation and refer to a fictional couple. Let’s call them Jessie and James. (Oh, hayy Team Rocket!)

Jessie and James think they have their shit figured out. To them, respect is a right. Jessie and James have been together for some time now, and they believe that they’ve earned the respect of each other’s family just because of the mere fact that they’ve been together for a somewhat of a long amount of time. But Jessie’s family is not respecting and accepting James like he imagined they would, and vice versa for James’ family towards Jessie. What’s the deal? James thinks Jessie’s family is being uptight and too traditional, so he adapts a “screw them!” kind of mindset, because he doesn’t have the time to beg for their respect and acceptance. Same with Jessie towards James’ family. So is it true? Should respect and acceptance into the family come automatically over time?

Jessie, Jessie, Jessie. James, James, James. You innocent, naive, ignorant, little idiots…

I do not think that respect comes automatically because you think you deserve it. Who would be pompous enough to think that they’re so high and mighty that respect should be their right to have?

Respect is a PRIVILEGE. You want respect? You work for it and earn it like the mature adult you’re supposed to be. So many kids these days get things handed to them because their parents don’t want to see their precious children suffer for anything. I don’t want to criticize anyone’s parenting, but would it not hurt your children in the future if you shelter them and not allow them to experience the real world and learn lessons along the way? Then somewhere down the line, two of these sheltered little shitheads find each other and believe that they are somehow better than everyone around them and that other people should be the ones grovelling at their feet and begging for their respect. Couples these days… Can’t live with them, can’t live without them. Though I’d very much enjoy gifting each of them a swift punch in the face.

Again, don’t be offended. I’m not talking about anyone specifically. I could be talking about myself for all you know. And I also apologize for the illogical, nonsensical thoughts of this post. Just wanted to write something because my fingers were itching to rant about something. And because I like to ramble about random weirdness in general.

There are no rules to being awesome

I’m sure many people have read this interesting piece by a young woman who thinks that marriage is something you do after you’ve finished having fun and are ready to settle down with your partner to prepare for the next 50 years of doing the most boring things imaginable. Is that what marriage means? When it’s time to settle down with your partner and have children? When a romantic evening means ordering Chinese food and eating it by candlelight after those brats have finally fallen asleep? (Just kidding. Kids are great.)

That idea of marriage cannot be more wrong.

Marriage is not a “cop-out,” as stated in the article. Having your partner next to you supporting you is not a sign of dependence. Admitting that you cannot face the world alone all the time is not a sign of cowardice. The world is beautiful, and life is amazing, but it comes with many, many obstacles. Not only is facing those obstacles alone quite overwhelming, it may very well drive you to insanity.

One may choose to be independent and deal with issues on their own, but it does not make that one any stronger than another just because the other chooses to share their burdens with someone else. You can choose to face the world by yourself if you so desire. To each their own. But choosing to face with world with someone you love does not make you any less brave or any more dependent.

Why does marriage have to mean “settling down” with a “white picket fence”? Is marriage and starting a family such a primitive concept that it only involves “getting knocked up” and “getting fat”? If that is what people think marriage is, then please, go out into the world and look around you! I have a beautiful classmate who is happily married, and she and her husband are constantly training for some marathon, working and studying fulltime, and constantly out and about socializing, all while being fantastic parents to their beautiful daughter. They are living proof that the adventure continues, if not intensifies, after marriage.

The author did make a point that I wholeheartedly agree with. Everyone is responsible for their own happiness. True; the root of your happiness should never depend on just one other person. But being in a marriage does not imply anything of that sort. I don’t speak for all marriages, but there are marriages out there with two people who have individually discovered happiness and then chose to share their happiness with someone else.

But at what age must someone be to be “experienced enough” to know what true happiness is?

There is no age. There is no designated age that says, “Oh, you have hit this age, and now you are wise enough to know happiness.” Everyone has their idea of what happiness is, and no idea is wrong. Whether they discover this at 18 or 23 or 47 years old, nobody can say that one does not understand what happiness is because they are too young or too old. 

To sum it up, I’m no expert. I’m not even married. I’d like to be one day, and hopefully soon. I know I’m only 23 years old, but why should my age or my lack of wisdom or whatever stop me from doing what I want and what I feel is right for me? If things were to align and I were to get married tomorrow, I would not delay anything if everything was perfect, simply because some people may think that I am “too young.”

Even if I were “too young,” I wouldn’t care because my life goes on after I get married. It doesn’t end. My goals and dreams don’t magically disappear. I’m not going to buy a house and a car, and then take up knitting as my newfound hobby. (I would totally take up knitting regardless, because who doesn’t want to knit cool scarves/hats/gloves?)

I will still excel in my career and party it up with my peeps at the same time. I will still have a slammin’ bod after I give birth because I’ll be working out. I will still travel the world and experience many different countries and cultures. And you know what? It will be double as sweet because I’m sharing all of these things with my best friend and the love of my life.

Single life is an awesome life. You get to have fun and learn so much about yourself. Married life is just as awesome. You still have fun and you’re still learning about yourself. Whatever you choose, it’ll be awesome, because there are no rules.

P.S. Single or not, I would never make out with a stranger because I don’t know where his mouth has been. 

P.P.S. Why would it make me “more adventurous” to date two people at a time just to see how it turns out? No thanks. Being unfaithful ain’t my game.