I’m sure many people have read this interesting piece by a young woman who thinks that marriage is something you do after you’ve finished having fun and are ready to settle down with your partner to prepare for the next 50 years of doing the most boring things imaginable. Is that what marriage means? When it’s time to settle down with your partner and have children? When a romantic evening means ordering Chinese food and eating it by candlelight after those brats have finally fallen asleep? (Just kidding. Kids are great.)
That idea of marriage cannot be more wrong.
Marriage is not a “cop-out,” as stated in the article. Having your partner next to you supporting you is not a sign of dependence. Admitting that you cannot face the world alone all the time is not a sign of cowardice. The world is beautiful, and life is amazing, but it comes with many, many obstacles. Not only is facing those obstacles alone quite overwhelming, it may very well drive you to insanity.
One may choose to be independent and deal with issues on their own, but it does not make that one any stronger than another just because the other chooses to share their burdens with someone else. You can choose to face the world by yourself if you so desire. To each their own. But choosing to face with world with someone you love does not make you any less brave or any more dependent.
Why does marriage have to mean “settling down” with a “white picket fence”? Is marriage and starting a family such a primitive concept that it only involves “getting knocked up” and “getting fat”? If that is what people think marriage is, then please, go out into the world and look around you! I have a beautiful classmate who is happily married, and she and her husband are constantly training for some marathon, working and studying fulltime, and constantly out and about socializing, all while being fantastic parents to their beautiful daughter. They are living proof that the adventure continues, if not intensifies, after marriage.
The author did make a point that I wholeheartedly agree with. Everyone is responsible for their own happiness. True; the root of your happiness should never depend on just one other person. But being in a marriage does not imply anything of that sort. I don’t speak for all marriages, but there are marriages out there with two people who have individually discovered happiness and then chose to share their happiness with someone else.
But at what age must someone be to be “experienced enough” to know what true happiness is?
There is no age. There is no designated age that says, “Oh, you have hit this age, and now you are wise enough to know happiness.” Everyone has their idea of what happiness is, and no idea is wrong. Whether they discover this at 18 or 23 or 47 years old, nobody can say that one does not understand what happiness is because they are too young or too old.
To sum it up, I’m no expert. I’m not even married. I’d like to be one day, and hopefully soon. I know I’m only 23 years old, but why should my age or my lack of wisdom or whatever stop me from doing what I want and what I feel is right for me? If things were to align and I were to get married tomorrow, I would not delay anything if everything was perfect, simply because some people may think that I am “too young.”
Even if I were “too young,” I wouldn’t care because my life goes on after I get married. It doesn’t end. My goals and dreams don’t magically disappear. I’m not going to buy a house and a car, and then take up knitting as my newfound hobby. (I would totally take up knitting regardless, because who doesn’t want to knit cool scarves/hats/gloves?)
I will still excel in my career and party it up with my peeps at the same time. I will still have a slammin’ bod after I give birth because I’ll be working out. I will still travel the world and experience many different countries and cultures. And you know what? It will be double as sweet because I’m sharing all of these things with my best friend and the love of my life.
Single life is an awesome life. You get to have fun and learn so much about yourself. Married life is just as awesome. You still have fun and you’re still learning about yourself. Whatever you choose, it’ll be awesome, because there are no rules.
P.S. Single or not, I would never make out with a stranger because I don’t know where his mouth has been.
P.P.S. Why would it make me “more adventurous” to date two people at a time just to see how it turns out? No thanks. Being unfaithful ain’t my game.