PDA (Part 1) : Growing up in a Chilese Famiry


Have you ever identified yourself with those unfortunate souls who call themselves “the third wheel”? Those who are suckered into hanging out with their couple friends and find themselves forced to take in all the lovey-dovey giggles and the do-you-ever-come-up-for-air smooches?

More often than not, I will force myself to take a few steps back before trying to form any sort of opinion for others to hear, essentially so I don’t say anything I’ll regret or anything that may offend anyone. But hey, I’m human, and I will be as raw as I need to be when it boils down to an opinion I feel really strongly about. So when it comes to such a fascinating topic such as public displays of affection, also known as PDA, who wouldn’t get overly passionate?

Before going any further, I would like to invite you to take a brief look of how I was brought up, so as to better understand why I think the way I do. I am a Canadian who was raised in a traditional Chinese family. When I say traditional, I mean:

  • Anything under an A+ is bullshit
  • We beat you because we love you
  • Of course you have a say in your career options. Doctor, lawyer, or accountant. Any of those three.
  • We is too g-star to say “I love you”
  • You’re not allowed to have a boyfriend until you’re 25
  • Your boyfriend must be educated, have a rich family, and be filthy rich himself
  • You’re allowed to try to talk back to us, but also prepare to meet your face to the back of our hands
  • We tell you you’re fat to motivate you to eat healthier
  • What? You want to go out? But proper girls stay home. Why don’t you study? Why don’t you practice piano? Why don’t you cook and clean and sew like a proper lady?

THAT kind of traditional. Okay, some of the stuff may be a little exaggerated, or it can be 100 percent true for some of you. It’s different for everyone. My CBC homies know ’bout that life. 

All jokes aside, the typical values of a Chinese family (but can also be applied to other cultures) are very focused on respect and tradition. I don’t agree with all the rules and values, but a lot of these traditional views do rub off on me when it comes to forming my own personal values.

With these values in mind, I think showing your love to your partner is a beautiful thing, given that it is done in the right place and at the right time. However, PDA-ing as if you had to show and prove to the world how loving your relationship is, in my humble opinion, comes off as disrespectful, inconsiderate, and just completely unnecessary.

Trust me; ain’t nobody gonna watch two lovebirds slobbering on each other’s faces with mad tongue action and then say, “Aw! Das cute!” ‘Cause it ain’t. See? The ghetto in me comes out when I get passionate. I’ll try to tone it down though.

The next part to this post is in the works, so stay tuned for Part 2. What do all-a-yalls think about PDA? I know there are so many different layers and levels and whatnot to this topic, but everyone is entitled to their opinion. No judgments over hurr at Think Shirley!


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